Death Over Loyalty
by SilverDragon529
Summary: Title has nothing to do with the story, but meh. It's a parody of all those realitygame shows. First two chapters kinda suck, but at least give it a chance.
1. A Really Warped Beginning

Summary- This story is going to be a kind of The Mole/Survivor/any reality show parody. I'm bored, so deal with it. Also, it may be hard to understand, but just ignore it. This is just a prologue. It serves no real purpose other than to entertain me for a few extra minutes.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
"Hi, and welcome to our show, 'Death over Loyalty.' I'm your host, Mac Pentium," said an obviously mechanical computer. The screen was black, except for two digital eyes and a square pixilated mouth that flickered with each word it said. Its voice mimicked that of Stephen Hawkins.  
  
"This week, we will get to see our contestant and learn a lit-lit-little about each of them," it said, stuttering. "The game is simple: Be able to survive the-the-the entire game. Sound's simple? Not qu-qu-quite. While I go have a sys-sys-system overload, let's see the contestants; shall we-e-e- e-e?" The nonexistent camera slowly backs away from the screen on the computer, exposing the large clouds of smoke climbing out of it. The eyes of the computer screen begin to flicker violently and an alarm goes off, shouting, "Warning. Warning. System Overload. Please delete the following files off your hard drive: Napster, Kazaa, Penthouse..."  
  
The lecturing is interrupted by the perfunctory voice of the computer, who simply responds, "Hey, I'm going to ke-ee-eep that one."  
  
The television screen blanks out, and the commercials begin to play.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
"Hi. Are you tired of being the butt of all your friends' jokes?" said a middle aged man wearing a proper suit said as he stood in front of a black background. He stared straight ahead as he spoke.  
  
"Are you tired of the "Haha"'s and the "You fell for it"'s?" Mediasure may have the answer to your problems."  
  
The screen now showed two people standing beside each other, each with either a "Before" or "After" label over them. The man's voice, however, continued. "Look at this before and after picture. Do you see the difference?" Staring directly at both picture would allow the audience to see that both picture were, in fact, exactly the same, with the exception of a pair of devil's horns that were just drawn over the "Before" Picture's head.  
  
"Before this man used Mediasure, he was an evil, satanic monkey with no reason to live." A mustache suddenly appeared over his mouth, as well as a red tail and cape. "After he had Mediasure, he wasn't any of the things I just said."  
  
A picture of a lady standing in front of a background of the ocean suddenly appeared.  
  
"Before Mediasure," she said, looking to her left in between every word that she said, "I was a nervous wreak with an eating disorder." She began to twitch uncontrollably. "Nnnn-ow, I'm just a nnnnervous wreak." She quickly turned shifted her stare to her immediate right, let out a small shriek and fainted.  
  
"Now, you may be wondering "What can Mediasure do you me?" said the man's voice, as a paramedic appeared in front of the ocean background. He dragged the lady off in a stretcher. "Well," said the man. "It can do wonders. Do you remember what I said at the beginning of the commercial? About how this product can help you grow back all of you lost limbs in a matter of days?" The paramedic stormed across the set, carrying a defibulator. "What? What's that you said?" asked the man, paying no attention to the paramedic. "You don't remember? Well, mediasure can help you restore that terrible memory of yours memory back to normal." The paramedic appeared once more. This time, he was limping across, bleeding profusiously from neck. He collapsed halfway across the set.  
  
The screen blacked out and a phone numbered appeared, followed by an unusually high-pitched, fast paced voice that was hardly distinguishable. Before you knew it, the number was replaced by the face of the computer screen once again.  
  
~*~*~*~ A/N- Well, that was the end of the prologue. If the commercial bit was hard to understand, just blame me. I didn't really know how to right it so that it would be the way I wanted it, but meh. Oh, and this is a PARODY.not meant to be taken seriously. And if anything it the story seems to be inconsistent, just nod your head and agree. Odds are, they were put in there intentionally. So, chapter 2 will be up immediately after this. Just remember, it is your job as the reader to REVIEW. Anything will be accepted, including flames, which will be given to my pyro-dragons. Adios~ 


	2. Introduction to Destruction

"Well-ell-ellcome back to the show," said the computer. "When we last left, I was having some technical difficulties and we we were forced to go to a commercial break." A small boom echoed from somewhere in the distance, yet nobody seemed to notice.  
  
"Our show has seven contestants. Each one has their own unique styles, tastes, and pet peeves."  
  
The computer screen gets rid of its animated face to make room for the clips of each contestant. A picture of Harry Potter was projected on the screen.  
  
"Hi, I'm Harry Potter," said the fair skinned, dark haired boy with the oddly shaped scar. He stared straight into a nonexistent camera as he spoke. "I attend Hogwarts, and I like long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners and being at the top of my game."  
  
The screen changed and showed another clip of Harry. This clip, however, showed him dressed in a tight pleather skirt and tank top. He was holding a whip and wearing a red wig, shouting, "Who's your master?!?! WHO?!?! SAY MY NAME BIOTCH..." his screaming fit was disturbed by the earlier clip of Harry, who stared straight ahead in complete horror. A drop of sweat was clearly visible on his forehead.  
  
"Um..." he said, half smiling. "Hehe...um...wrong clip."  
  
Harry was replaced by another clip, this time it was Hermione.  
  
"Hello, I'm Hermione Granger. If I could describe myself in four words, I would say I'm smart, nice, caring, and clever.  
  
This clip was interrupted by another one of herself. It showed her blind folded and tied to a conveniently placed pole. Out of nowhere, Harry appears, dressed as he was earlier. He suddenly started yelling at her.  
  
"Say my name bitch. SAY IT!"  
  
The clip was interrupted by a hyperventilating Hermione. She looked ahead, terrified. "How did you get that? I thought he burned that."  
  
The next clip began to play. This one was for Ginny.  
  
"I'm Ginny Weasly, and I plan on winning this competition. Mark my words."  
  
Another clip began to roll. Ginny was now wearing a red bandana around her head and had a fierce expression on her face.  
  
"Hoose dat bitch filming me en ma room, yo!" she spat, sounding like she was fresh off the streets of the Harlem. "Whos therrre?" She pounced on the camera and the image changed into one of static.  
  
Ginny's first clip began to play. She just sat there, staring straight ahead to the camera. "Don't get any funny ideas. You got that?" The camera began to nod, as if it was human. She responded, "Good."  
  
The next clip started playing. It showed Ron.  
  
"Um...I'm Ron, and please don't show any embarrassing movies of me...please?" He sounded quite desperate.  
  
The next clip came into play. It showed Ron when he was younger, maybe ten or twelve. He looked at the camera, confused.  
  
"What's that?" he asked, pointing directly at the camera. Anther voice started to speak.  
  
"It's a monster," said the voice. It was clearly feminine. "It's going to eat you."  
  
Ron began to tremble. "Rrrreally?" He continued to look at the camera. "Whu- why does it want to eat me?"  
  
"Because you're tasty," said the woman. This didn't comfort the child one bit, because a tear streamed down his face.  
  
"Please don't eat me," he cried. "Please."  
  
Suddenly, a rock flew straight towards him, hitting him square in the head. He screamed and cried louder.  
  
"Why'd you do that, Mr. Monster?" he asked.  
  
"He hates you. He wants you dead."  
  
In a second, the camera sees the ground moving past it quickly and it hears the screams of a young Ron Weasly.  
  
The clip is stopped, and Ron is shown once again.  
  
"That wasn't a very nice thing for my mother to do, was it?" The image of him fades away as he mutters something to himself about how throwing cameras at young boys causes psychological damage.  
  
The next clip showed Draco, sneering at the camera.  
  
"I doubt you'll find anything wrong about me," were the first words out of his mind. "I'm not a some kind of a freak, like Potter and his friends. I'm more sane than that, thank you very much."  
  
The next clip begins to play. The camera seemed to show nothing but a door. If it wasn't for the indistinct moaning coming from the other side, one might assume nothing was going on.  
  
The moaning and louder, but then, it stopped abruptly.  
  
"Whe-where are you going?" A voiced that sounded much like Draco's asked. He must have been on the other side of the door. "Don't leave."  
  
The door swung open and out walked Mrs. Norris, her tail shot straight into the air. Draco ran out after her.  
  
"Don't leave, my love. Please don't ignore me!" but it was too late; Mrs. Norris had turned a corner, ignoring Draco the entire time. He seemed to have been shattered by this.  
  
"How could she do this to me?" he asked no one in particular. "We were going to show that movie online, next to Pam and Tommy's. Or Maybe Paris' " He walked back into the room he was just in, muttering to himself.  
  
The clip stopped and now Draco was staring straight ahead. He just scratched the back of his neck. "Nope," he said, a little uneasy. "Nothing out of the ordinary there." He gave a nervous laugh and just smiled.  
  
The next clip started playing. This one showed Neville. He just started at the camera, nervously.  
  
"I didn't even want to do this show. Please don't kill me. I don't think my heart can take it."  
  
The next clip showed. It was unlike the other clips shown before; this one was of the flying scene he had done in the first Harry Potter Movie. It showed the CGI image of himself fly around, crash into the school and fall to the ground with a loud thud.  
  
The clip ceased, and showed how Neville had a tear in his eye. "That was SO embarrassing...that terrible CGI image. That's CGI at its worse, I tell you! How could you do this to me?"  
  
His lecture was cut short by the changing of the clips. The last person was now introduced, and it was Goyle.  
  
He just looked straight ahead and nodded slightly, not showing any sign of emotion.  
  
The clip began to play. It was Goyle, sitting in the library, reading a magazine. He looked intently at the pages of his magazine, which one would assume was Playboy from the way he stared. Actually, it was Playboy, or so you think.  
  
He stood up from his seat when the magazine slipped out of his fingers. It landed with a soft crash and the terrible truth was revealed. He wasn't reading Playboy at all, that was just the cover of the magazine. Inside was Scientific American, and it was opened to an article about the parrarel universe. In fear that somebody would uncover his embarrassing fetish, he quickly gathered the two magazines up in a hurry, looking around the room to see if anyone was watching.  
  
The clip stopped and revealed Goyle, who looked much like he did earlier, except for the fact he was shaking his head, had a frown on his face and began rolling his sleeves up. Before he had the opportunity to attack the poor, underpaid camera man, the introduction sequence ended.  
  
~*~*~ A/N- The actual story will begin next chapter. This was just all the characters describing themselves. It's a little OOC, but "My story, My rules." Remember to review, or I won't post a chapter that actually makes sense, as opposed to this *points to prologue and chapter 1*. adios 


	3. Let the insanity begin

The computer's pixilated face was clearly visible, and he seemed to have been repaired from the overload because he was no longer smoking.  
  
"Wasn't that fu-fu-fun?" he stammered. "Now, let's see what happens when our contest-est-estant meet each other for the first time."  
  
The screen of the computer began to fade away into a picture of a grassy field with a castle located far in the distance. It was serene and quiet here, until the contestants began to appear slowly.  
  
One by one, they sat on the wooded bench that lay before them. Once all seven of them appeared, they looked around for any sign of a host to the show. It took them a while before they realized that they all knew each other.  
  
"Hey," Neville said, looking at Goyle. "Don't I know you?"  
  
"We all know each other, you sad excuse for a human," spat Draco. "Isn't that right, Granger?"  
  
He looked over at her, expecting her to respond, but she didn't.  
  
"I said, 'Isn't that right, Grang-"  
  
"I heard you the first time!" she said, obviously not in the mood for repition.  
  
"Then you should respond to me when I summon you!" Draco said as Ginny gave him a "look."  
  
"Oh, really?" she asked. "Isn't that so?"  
  
"Oh, would you SHUT UP already?" he yelled towards one of the empty spots on the bench beside him. "I heard you the first time."  
  
"What first time?" Neville asked, thoroughly confused, which isn't unusual for him.  
  
"And you!" Draco exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Neville. "Don't you know when to just SHUT YOUR MOUTH?!"  
  
"But..."  
  
"AND IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU, POTTER, YOU CAN BET YOUR SORRY ASS I'LL STAB YOU WITH DENTAL FLOSS!"  
  
And, because Neville's a git who never learned his lesson, he asked, "Isn't it choke?"  
  
With that, Draco was now on top of Neville, pinching him on his cheeks, kind of like a sadistic aunt who only pinches you because her innermost wishes is to watch you squirm on the floor, as you try with all your might to make the pain stop, but your attempts are futile. Then, when you least expect it, your aunt kicks you and injects you with embalming fluid and watched the very life drain out of you. That's kind of what happened, only without the embalming fluid.  
  
"AHH!" Neville screams in pain as Draco watches him, proud of the mess he had caused.  
  
"I wonder where the host is," he asked Goyle, who just shrugged his shoulders and then continued with the very strenuous task of twiddling his thumbs.  
  
Out of nowhere, a man dressed in an emerald-green suit walks over to the group of students as they watched Neville strangle himself with dental floss. Nobody seems to notice the man had appeared.  
  
"Well, I guess I can wait until he finishes what he's doing," the man said, watching Neville.  
  
"Oh, no, you dare not wait, Sir," Ron said nervously. "I want to get this game over with."  
  
With that being said, Neville felt he had done a good job in showing everybody the Do's and Don't's of dental floss, or so he thought. But, according to everybody else who was there, before he had tied the floss into a noose before placing it around his neck, he muttered, quite seriously, "Goodbye, cruel world."  
  
The contestant walked over to the benches and each of them took a seat, except for Harry, who just didn't feel like sitting at the moment.  
  
"Welcome to the show 'Death over Loyalty," said the man. "My name is Frederick sir Xanadu, and I am you host for today.  
  
"The object of the game is to survive three weeks in that castle over there," he explained, pointing to the castle in the background. "Now, you all may know this place as Hogwarts, but let me assure you, that does not make the task any easier."  
  
"How so?" inquired Hermione. "And what exactly are the rules here?" Her question was followed by indistinct whispering among the contestants.  
  
"Well..." Frederick started, "the last one to make it out alive is the winner."  
  
"I think Potter and his friends may have a hard time of accomplishing that," Draco said harshly to Ginny, confusing her with Goyle. She just giggled and poked him softly in the arm.  
  
"There is a catch, however," said Frederick.  
  
"Isn't there always?" Neville thought aloud. Draco just glared at him and held up a container of dental floss. Neville shrieked in fright and covered his eyes.  
  
"One of you is a mole," states sir Xanadu, not paying any mind to the fact that Draco may kill every one of the other contestants before the game has even started.  
  
"A what?" Ron asks.  
  
"You, Weasel. You're a mole," Draco spat. He suddenly realized that he should take a vacation from being the wise-ass with the smart remarks all the time. 'I'll let Goyle speak for a change,' he though to himself.  
  
"Obviously Draco's doesn't know how to tell animals apart," Hermione states. "A mole can be one of four things, two of which I highly doubt have anything to do with this game at all. One, a mole is an animal, more specifically a rodent." She gave Draco a harsh glare, then continued. "Two, a mole is a distinguishable body marking. Three, it is a spicy sauce often made with chocolate. And four, a mole is the molecular weight of a substance expressed in grams."  
  
She, apparently, paid no attention that she drove Ginny, Draco, Neville, and Goyle to sleep. Harry, on the verge of sleeping himself, poked himself in the left eye to prevent himself from dozing off.  
  
"You seemed to have forgotten the most important one of all," sir Xanadu exclaims.  
  
"I...I did?" she questioned in disbelief. "No...that couldn't have happened...I..."  
  
"Oh, get over it," Ron complained. "Now you know how it feels to be normal for a change."  
  
"Anyway," sir Xanadu interrupted. "One of you is a traitor. That's the catch."  
  
"hmm...I'm a mole....hmmm...AHH!" Neville said just moments before he woke up from his one minute nap. "AHH! NO!!" he cried.  
  
"What's the matter, Neville?" Ron asked.  
  
"I dreamed I was turning into a ....naked mole rat," Neville's expression became more sullen as he spoke. "I was ..." he changed his tone to that of a whisper, "naked."  
  
"Well, that usually happens when your a naked mole rat," Harry explained, covering his bleeding eye with a part of his cloak.  
  
"...and when the mole wants to vote somebody off the show, he will be able to do so by killing them off, thus the game is called 'Death over Loyalty,'" sir Xanadu said, not pausing once.  
  
"Wait, I heard killing," Golye said, rubbing his eyes as he tried to wake himself up. He looked around, only to see all the other contestants looking at him incredulously.  
  
"Goyle," Draco said. "You can talk?"  
  
Goyle just looked at him, shrugged, and fell back asleep.  
  
Hermione was too busy staring at sir Xanadu to notice anything Goyle was doing.  
  
"Did you say, 'Kill'?" she asked him and he nodded." Isn't that illegal?"  
  
"Maybe murder is illegal in the muggle world, Hermione, but not here," he said, pausing immediately after. He suddenly had a brilliant idea.  
  
"Now if you excuse me," he reached deep into one of his pockets pulled out a machete. "I have some unfinished business I must attend to." He strolled down the grassy meadows towards the sunset until he was seen no more.  
  
"Well," Ron said, watching Neville as he kept checking his pants to make sure they were really there. "Let's get this game started."  
  
"Um...maybe this isn't such a good idea, I mean, only one of us is going to get out of this contest alive. Should we risk it?" Hermione asked, unsure of whether the contest was a good idea.  
  
"Of course," Harry exclaimed. "We'll get a lot of money for doing this. Besides, what have we got to lose?" He looked over towards Malfoy, then Neville, then back towards Hermione. "With the exception of me, of course. After all, I am your savior." He attempted to flip his hair over his shoulder dramatically, but realized that it was too short to have the same affect.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes, muttering, "Self absorbed git."  
  
At that exact moment, Draco, Ginny, and Goyle woke up at the exact same time for reasons unknown to anyone. The seven students began to walk towards the castle as the sun sunk below the horizon in the distance.  
  
A/N- Man, this story sucks. I don't even find it funny anymore. If you want to see this story continued, just send one of those review things and let me know what you think of it. Also, if it can be improved in anyway, just let me know. Oh, BTW, someone's going to be killed by the mole in the next chapter. I'd just thought I'd let you know. 


End file.
